by Chatone Morrison
Even if you haven’t recently suffered a great loss, the COVID-19 virus has left us all in a chronic state of collective grieving. I have been overwhelmed with Zoom memorial services. Saying goodbye has become harder than ever. We see each other crying on the screen, but hear nothing because we are muted. We receive (SOS) support on social. Virtual hearts and hugs are all we have, but they are not as powerful as the real thing. We are missing people without being able to say goodbye. The loss is no less real, and the sting is more intense.
When I take on the challenging assignment of creating an obituary or interviewing family members for a life story for a funeral service program or video, this is how I do it. In my writing workshops, I call this “Write & Release”, or “Write & Remember”. It’s a palate cleanser, or a palate prompter, depending on what is needed. When you lose someone you cherish, it’s a nice way to remember, so it’s just a little easier.
In this moment of mass and personal loss, over and over, there is a need to slow down, stop, and find gentle ways to hold onto the past, and still keep going forward, all without breaking, and finding the blessings along the way. It’s possible. Read on.
Here are my 7 Strategies for Grieving With Grace. And this is how I assist my grieving clients through the difficult charge of creating a life memorial or obituary.
This “Write & Remember” journey can be recorded in a journal or voiced and later transcribed. Try to do this soon after you lose someone precious to you. Of course, depending on the closeness of the relationship, you may need to allow some time to pass, and that is OK. This all about adding grace and ease and helping your memories to flow. So, even if you are able to do just one thing, it will make an impact.
- Memory List. Create a list of memories shared with your lost loved one. This memory list can be written in a journal or spoken and recorded.
- Photographs. Gather all the hard copy photos. Make copies as needed. Retrieve digital photos and social media postings. Save on an external drive or cloud source. Add favorites to the journal.
- Special Conversations. Try to recall the most special conversation shared with your lost loved one. Do not replay the worst one over and over; it’s easy to do that. Find the best one. Write it down as you remember it. Don’t interpret. Just write.
- Unique List. List down as many unique, funny, quirky, and memorable things you can about your special person. Start with 10-15, and keep going, adding as many as you can recall.
- Audio & Video. Save a copy of their voice or a video. If you don’t personally have one, you can screen record from their social media to your smart device. Their exact voice is a legacy worth remembering and sharing. Hint: If someone you know is elderly, chronically ill, or close to death, please get this recording as soon a possible.
- Nickname. Write down their pet name for you and your pet name for them. (This is not the time to dwell on the negative nicknames you might have accepted.) Think back to the ones that were personal and loving and just between you two. Yes, there may be a few silly and embarrassing ones. At times, you might rolled your eyes by what you answered to, but it’s a part of a life you shared. Remember it.
- Talk. Talk it out. Share your personal discoveries and your journey and grief. There is nothing worse than grieving alone. To grieve with grace and find the blessing in your loss, you have to do it together.
With these steps you can gain grace and ease your way into the grieving process with your memories and your mindset intact. What do you do now?
Keep your journal close. As friends and family share their memories, add to it. When you want to talk to the person you loved and lost, pull it out and read it. It will make a difference.
Chatone Morrison is the Princess of Positivity® . Content Strategist & Confidence Coach. Gifted Writer Creating Print & Video Content that Raises Confidence, Positivity, & Energy in Corporate Women and Business Owners. Self-Talk Shifter. Motivation Elevator. Catalyst.
Specializing in content creation, confidence coaching, consulting and delivery strategy for life and health coaches, Chatone is the owner of Chatone Morrison Consulting. As a highly creative, high energy, heart-led, coach, consultant, mentor, leader, speaker and author, Chatone is absolutely passionate about helping her clients to script their unique stories, know their niche and find their voice, and systematize their message. Chatone believes that you can release negativity so positivity can reign in your brain and in your business. To work with Chatone, go to bit.ly/contentkickstartcall or visit chatonemorrison.com
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Strange question indeed. But everyday we encounter people that need a hankie. The back of their hand. The crook of their arm. A napkin. A tissue. A turn of the head. Anything to assist them from coughing all over you. You know what I’m saying! You’ve been the victim probably in the last few hours of someone coughing in your direction, not turning their head, ignoring the sputum that is dropping everywhere!
If you are constantly bombarded with the negative drama of others, their sad stories, their woe-is-me existence, or their tales of victimization you will eventually catch the Common Cough. So take a break. It’s easy to see who these folks are in your life; when you see their name on your phone or email, a little sigh escapes your lips. That “sigh” is your sign! Give yourself permission to limit time with this individual. Sometimes you know how much you immunity can take, and other times you don’t know until you get home and you are coughing too! So instead of that, make a decision to honor your boundaries. You deserve to be in the best health possible. (In another blog or video I will jump into what happens when the cough resides in the house with you! Stayed Tuned!!)
Not exactly. If you want to have the most positive experience possible, there has to be a fair amount of “benefit of the doubt”. Everyone deserves that. In practical terms this means you might have infrequent but kind communications with this person. Especially in the workplace or in closer relationships. Would it really hurt to acknowledge this person, perhaps offering them a listening ear every now and again? Could you offer them a hankie? Perhaps having a good word for them? Even though it may not seem to make a dent, it will make a difference. If not for them, it will for you. If will create an ease based on putting someone else first, even just for a little while.
To help protect yourself from catching the cough, simply clean up! Don’t leave the negativity to fester in your mind. Replace it with positive recordings. Read books that build. Post affirmations in your surroundings. Use uplifting music to tune it out. Light a candle. Burn some incense. Spritz essential oils. Journal. All of these are like disinfectants for the mind. Protect yourself and prevent the spread of negative energy!
Princess of Positivity - Chatone Morrison 