Tag Archives: Self-Discovery

Is Information Overload Stealing Your Positivity?

Posted in Communication, emotions, Positive Thinking, positivity, Strategy, Uncategorized by

IMG_7625Are you simply trying to juggle way too much information? Think of all the blogs, vlogs, Facebook posts, tweets, Instagram and Pinterest pics, Snapchat, Periscopes…the list goes on and on.  It can get to be an over the top habit that moves from serving you to enslaving you. Don’t get me wrong.  I am a lover of knowledge.  I contribute and I consume.  But what happens if you start to feel that you need ALL of it for your success.  How can you know what is for you?

“OK Chatone”, you say.  “We hear you Princess…but what if I need the information for my big idea?  What if I’m building a new brand or company or product and I need to research and figure out what to do to be successful?  What then?”

You are right.  When you researching, learning, and growing into something that you have never been before, knowledge is key.  Bear in mind, though, that all data is not good data.  If you need something very specific, working with a coach…a great coach…is generally where you need to look.  For the last 15 years I have consistently worked with one coach or another and it has helped me to make great strides in grabbing my goals.

However, one of the greatest advantages has been the ability to learn to quickly decipher what information out here is for me and what is not for me.  That level of discernment has served me in such a big way!   You know the feeling of buying the wrong thing on line with all the promises but then nothing happens?  You feel nothing.  You do nothing.  You have no resonation.  No soul-ping at all.  Why?  Because the information did not serve you.  It just seemed like it. For me, working with various coaches helped me to memorize the sound of the ring of truth.  Then it’s easy to buy the right records and sing along.  

What about you?  Still searching and unsure?  Haven’t made the coach/mentor/consultant investment yet?  Well until you do, I’m here to help!  Check out these 5 ways to quickly evaluate information so you don’t have to waste your time or your money!  (See if you can find the poem…)

Is it 100% True?  Pick Good PEARS. Look for Proof, Experience, Authenticity and Realistic.  It should be easy to do this.  But the information out here is in overload format!  And when you want success, there is a fantastic claim about everything ranging  from how to trim fat from a raw chicken to how to trim fat from your thighs!  Tip:  If the information sounds too good to be true, it generally is!

Is it Really For You?  Every Guru isn’t for you.  Every gift is not meant for you to open.  For example, you read about an amazing writing coach who is offering a program.  She has 10 best sellers under her belt and has helped with over 500 clients to become best sellers also.  Wow…she must be for you, right!  No!  Not if you hate writing.  Haven’t read a book in 15 years. And the thought of a bookstore gives you hives.  What excites today will demoralize tomorrow if it’s not for you.  Buyer beware!

Does it Make You Feel Blue?  Great question, right?  Take a good look at who or what you watch the most.  Perhaps it’s a top coach or trainer well renown in his/her professional.  Content is flowing 24/7 and you know they must have what you need…look at their success?!  But do you feel uneasy, annoyed, frustrated afterwards?   Is their mode of motivation positive or do you sense an element of condescension?  We are all gifted with the ability to almost automatically pick up on the energy of others.  We just have the tendency to justify it.  If you want your positivity to show up and stay up – Shift Accordingly!

Would You Share it With Your Crew?  Sharing is an integral part of the fabric of our society.  We specifically share what serves us personally.  Think of the last time you had an amazing dinner at a hidden gem restaurant.  Think about the last motivational book or article that you loved.  Even think about the diet or exercise program that you feel truly served you.  What was the first thing you wanted to do?  SHARE!!  Sharing is the social lifeblood of today’s media. So, if you consistently that you would NEVER share with anyone in your inner circle…simply ask why?

Afterwards Do you Feel Like You Grew?   If you are able to get through the first four “poetry points” you have chosen great content so absorb on!  Right?  Well…there’s just one more thing.  Let’s bottom line all of this.  Growth is the key reason for taking in information. We are growing or dying.  It’s that simple.  Without it you might as well just  sit on the couch and look out of the window instead of expending the mental energy needed to examine and apply the content that you have chosen.  So pick morphy material!  If the material is stagnant and can never be applied to anything new or is the same old, same old don’t expect anything to change.  

Chances are, the volume will only increase.  But equipped with these 5 steps you can turn up exactly what you want to hear and mute the rest.  Be well!

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Getting There Without Getting Stuck

When is the last time you got Stuck?  It’s a yucky feeling, right?  Trust me, I’ve been there!  There are many reasons for getting Stuck.  Unfortunately it’s a real place.   An actual location on the map, and for one reason or another, our internal GPS thinks Stuck is true North.  There are no road signs or mile markers showing that you are approaching “Stucksville” (borrowed from my Daddy, the late, great Linwood Curley.)  It’s hidden between the crevices of our busy-ness, uncertainty and confusion.  Stuck is where we end up getting, when “There” is elusive.  So where is “There”? 

  1. Where do you want to go?  You have to set your destination with intention, if you want to avoid getting get Stuck.  Is it a promotion at work?  A new level in your MLM business?  Is it a different dress size or a completed marathon?  Are you after a more peaceful relationship with your teenage son or middle school daughter?  Would you like to write a book or start a blog or create a painting?  Does getting along with your elderly mom resonate with you?  Or do you see yourself getting your financial future in order?  Where are you wanting to go?  The destination is not the point.  You get permission to set that.  So take a few days and set a goal to where you want to be.  Because where is never the issue.  It’s in the why and how that Stuck takes over.
  2. Why is this important?  Why is always a toughie.  Why questions you and wants to know right away.  Why shows you absolutely no mercy.  and when you cannot figure out your Why in any and every given situation, Stuck is sure to ensue.  Why?  (See, I’m not even kidding on this!)  Because without the answer of Why there is no drive.  No motive.  No fire.  No energy.  And absolutely No Positivity.  It’s as if a “No Trespassing” sign were nailed over the destination to your goal.  Even if you attempt to tread lightly in the direction of your goal, without the answer to Why…you will very likely call the cops on your very own self.  You won’t believe you belong there, so you arrest yourself.  Yep, it’s not a pretty sight.  Imagine you holding yourself with your hands behind your back…Miranda rights being read…head bowed as you get in the police car and get dragged further and further away from your dreams.  Just figure this one out and you will spare yourself this dramatic scene.  Now all you have to think about is How – and that is the easiest one of all!
  3. How are you getting there?  OK, so I was teasing just a bit.  How has its challenges but nothing like Why.  How is challenging simply because there are so many different ways to do what you want.  And if you have already struggled with Why, chances are the How you will reach your destination without getting Stuck is going to take time.  The funny thing is, no matter what the sense of urgency is, time is never really an issue.  In this day and time we are beings that rush.  We are working to cram as much life in as we can.  Period.  So the best scenario is to take the needed time (not too much time, lest Stuck make an ugly appearance) and make the best decisions you can.  Want to lose weight?  How does it make you feel to work alone?  Would a food or health coach make sense?  Do you like groups?  How do you feel about the gym?  Would you prefer to run on the street or the treadmill?  How do you feel about trainers?  Get what I’m saying?  Each of these choices will most likely get you to your destination.  Taking the time to determine in positivity how you will get there, is a cornerstone to  arriving with minimal detours, roadblock, u-turns and avoiding “Stucksville”.  

What NOT To Do

  1. Get overly busy.  
  2. Belittle yourself.
  3. Forget to sew into self-worth.  
  4. Take action without thought or based on someone else’s agenda.

What TO Do

  1. Program your GPS Where you want to go according to your highest intentions.
  2. Discover your Why.  
  3. Examine How you want to get there.
  4. Pick only one mode of transportation at a time.

Along your many journeys and adventures this year, don’t visit Stucksville.  Instead grab your most colorful push-pins and put them into the Destination of your Dreams and enjoy the ride!

Chatone Morrison – 2/13/17

 

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A Bit of 10-year-old Self Discovery

Posted in Children, Communication, Discovery, Moms, Parents by

fullsizerenderAfter school unwind with my little man. He normally runs in with a bunch of boyish banter. But yesterday he went straight to his room without saying hello. Spells trouble. Color change? (It’s a Maryland thing). Reflection form?  Lost glasses?  What??  Nope. Nope. And nope. He was dealing with emotions and developing identity.

I did what Mom’s do. Started asking questions.  Expecting to hear about  recess basketball, the math quiz, the virtues of jazz band and the like.   I was on high alert when his answers were despondent and distant. Five minutes of questioning and probing (which seems short, but honestly is not) and the reluctant answers began to flow.

It began in PE, because little girl classmate, we will call “Anna” has not yet mastered  a spiral when throwing a football. She tried for half the class. The teacher was patient. Allowed her to keep trying. Ignoring everything around him, that doesn’t include him is his  specialty, but something new came up.  When several boys laughed and called Anna out of her name; when he saw that her feelings might be getting hurt, the boy we have been pouring into and trying to raise well showed up.

First he thought he could stop them.  Just talk them out of it. No chance.  He saw on a basic level the P’s of evil: Persuasive and Pervasive.  It seeks its way into the fabric of people and moves on through the room and it’s really hard to trace the beginning or find the end.  He tried to get them to stop.   The teacher was not responding and he felt like he had to do something.  It didn’t even dawn on him that his actions, standing up for someone else like that might at best create alienation, or at worst be dangerous; my child has been threatened before.  But it didn’t matter to him, he said he was just angry about it.  And he wanted to do something which he did…because  when he couldn’t make a direct difference, his backdoor ruckus caused the teacher to take notice.

Don’t get me wrong, I love teachers. Educators rock.  They stay in a difficult job that is extremely demanding and often bears a dividend so far down the line it’s not realized until years later. I imagine that can work against your positive energy.  Especially when have a gym full of 5th graders.  (Sigh)

Identity peaked when Ms. “Gym” saw what was happening; due to the ruckus.
“Everyone sit down!  Who laughed at “Anna” and made fun of her?!  Step up right now!  We are not having any of that in my class!”  (Silence and Levi tilting his head in the direction of his otherwise friends, trying to get them to be honest about it.)   Not a chance.

This continued until the threats began.  Ms. “Gym” announced that all balls would be taken if someone didn’t come forward.  In other words, all would suffer for the few. That struck his compassion bone, the one I didn’t know was yet growing…he couldn’t take it anymore.  He stood up and walked over to put his ball away.  Now here in the story I really felt my patience wearing thin.  Was this super cute and respectful kid telling me that he really was the one making fun and laughing at “Anna”?  I would like to say that I hadn’t accused him of that…but alas, even those of us who wear crowns fall off the throne one or twice a day!

His answer was so simple. “No, mom.  I didn’t want everyone to lose out.  It wasn’t fair.  So I thought if I said it was me, at least all of them would be able to keep playing. Seriously mom – I don’t like when things are not fair.  Then she accused me of lying.  And I had to admit that I was just trying to save the class.  And then I got in trouble for lying!  You can’t win!”

Again…my left eye of scrutiny didn’t want to buy this story.  My truth and pride radar were in conflict.  But in the end, being able to slow down with him, I realized that it was all true.  There had been a collision of his emotions and who he wants to be in life.  A problem solver, lover of justice and purveyor of good.  The presentation needs work for sure…but pretty cool I think. The things you learn when you slow down and let your little people talk.

The ending?  I asked the question that I sometimes forget to ask.  What would make you feel better son?  The answer was the best part of my week so far:

Remember when you used to help me sleep by rubbing my eyelashes.  Will you do that right now?

Needless to say – we laid together on the couch for a while, whispering and giggling and relaxing, then I took these pictures.  It was the most intimate of dates with my boy.  We both left better than we came.  And I think that’s pretty cool.

Go Forth and Parent in Positivity!

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Chatone Morrison – 11/18/2016

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