I don’t often bring up race or race relations. From the bottom of my heart I believe that people can be united if they are taught. I believe in a bright future. My hubby and I have raised our children to see people for who they really are – not the color of their skin. So don’t get me wrong, I’m not deviating from my normal everyday path. But I wanted to answer this question. And I thought, no better time than the present, what with it being February and all.
Why do I represent a beauty brand that isn’t “black-owned”?
It’s a loaded question and so I must give the full answer. First, I purchase many many beauty brands. My hair products are exclusively black-owned, and I support as many small, Women of Color (WOC) owned businesses as I possibly can. Second, as a woman entrepreneur, I am thrilled to be able to decide what is good for my life and for my own business. This is so empowering after all those years in Corporate America, when I was unable to able to decide much of anything. But third, and most important, is this:
Mary Kay had a huge vision for her company. She invited everyone to the table.
When WOC were only being invited to cook for the table, set the table, serve the table, and clean the table, Mary Kay saved a place for Black women. She invited them to pull up a chair and actually BE at the table. My mom never had a Mary Kay business, but even as a kid you know when you see something special. I was watching.
I remember my mom using this product when I was a little girl. I didn’t know who owned it and of course I didn’t care. I would see her putting on eye cream and night cream every evening without fail. Even though we never had excess, she was usually in a pretty nightgown with a satin robe. She was slow about it. Deliberate. It was a ritual I didn’t understand – but I loved watching it. Regardless of what her day was like, she got in a little self-care. In the era of Good Times and What’s Happening! those words weren’t used yet, but the actions made an impact. On my mother and on the little girl watching. Me. Over the years the colors, the products and the business have grown up and reached out, not just for women of darker skin or lighter skin, but for everyone in between.
Right now, when women and the families they support need it the most, Mary Kay (the company) has reached out once again. By giving women the chance to start a business with drive, determination, and only $30, the table is expanded and there is more room than ever before. To add to that, a few months ago, the Purpose Power Index named Mary Kay among the most powerful purpose-driven brands in the U.S. They have far more “feel-good” initiatives than I can detail. This brand has programs to support victors of domestic and date violence, has given millions for cancer research, supports literacy, assures that the products are safe, and is intent on being as green as possible. Did you notice I didn’t mention anything about winning cars or fancy trips or all the millions that some women have earned? That’s all true too, but it didn’t factor into my decision. Those are just perks. Of course, no company is perfect, but when I looked at the track record, I had to stick around!
Why do I represent this brand? Because Mary Kay is not for only black women or brown women or white women or for ONLY any combination of colors or cultures. Mary Kay includes ALL women. And THAT aligns with my values.
If you have never tried the MK brand and would like to have a spa experience with me right from the comfort of your home, let me pamper you and help you get your self-care in, no matter what. I definitely have space for you at my table. To schedule an appointment, text SELFCARE to 443-583-3670.
Princess of Positivity®, Chatone Morrison has a Mary Kay business and loves to share both the products and the business opportunity with women who are ready to shine. She believes that you can absolutely release negativity so positivity can reign in your brain, in your business and in your big beautiful life. Visit Website
Chatone is the author of the book FATT & Happy, a self-coaching course and journal for women, and a Content Strategist & Confidence Coach for Women Entrepreneurs. She is the owner of Chatone Morrison Consulting and the founder of The Confident Content Cafe, specializing in content creation, confidence coaching, consulting and strategy for women-owned small businesses. She is a highly creative, high energy, heart-led, coach, consultant, mentor, leader, speaker and author, and she is absolutely passionate about helping her clients to script their unique stories, know their niche and find their voice, systematize their message and move past the negativity so they can confidently sell their services on and off-line.
I think COVID-19 is making me mushy. I’m starting to tear up at every feel-good video I see. 😢 Which makes me not want to scroll Facebook anymore. And what would life be without scrolling through Facebook? That’s a rhetorical question, mostly aimed at myself, so please don’t answer if you hate Facebook, or worse yet, don’t have an account. Because, trust me, if you are one of those folks, you probably can’t relate to what you just read. Let’s try it this way . . .
Have you ever cried during a Hallmark or Lifetime movie or while watching a diaper commercial with a baby just starting to crawl? Or even worse, have you ever seen those ads for services to find a place for your elderly mom to live when you can’t care for her at home? When I think about it, those are probably the worst for me. I haven’t seen my mom without a mask for so long, and she is getting older, and often doesn’t feel well, and she is so afraid of getting the virus, and her fears have become my fears, so those commercials just KILL me! Does any of that hit you in the heart, too? If yes, keep reading. Because although you are hanging in there, the pandemic is getting to you. And this will seem like it’s all about me, but I’m actually writing this for all of us, so we don’t forget the fabric from which we are made. We are made to thrive.
I write humorously about all of this, while clutching my heart, because it’s the only way I know how to stay positive through so many tears. Through so much loss. Just today, one of my Mary Kay Director sisters told me that in the last 7 days, 4 people she knows had death in their immediate family. That’s four families and potentially hundreds of people that have crossed over the bridge to the side of sadness and now are just trying to bear up. Because isn’t that what we are all doing? Just trying to bear up?
And then, aside from the tremendous loss of life, and the associated community grief, one of the great heartbreaks of COVID-19 for me personally, is something I have otherwise taken for granted:
See, I smile at strangers until they smile back. A run to Whole Foods for “buy 2, get 1 soup Wednesday” might be a two-hour trip. Why? Chatting. People ask me questions every where I go. But especially in the Whole Foods gluten-free aisle. And yes, I ‘love me some’ Whole Foods, and would sleep there on the floor in between the organic white sweet potatoes and the exotic olive bar if it were allowable, but I do not now, nor have I ever been blessed with the privilege of working there. And yes, I’m super busy. But I’m also a sucker for a real conversation.
Do you remember it too? Standing less than one foot apart? Reaching over to touch someone? Saying hello without a mask? For me, normalcy also included getting to the heart of a deep personal life issue within minutes, while strolling the book section at Costco or at my neighborhood DSW, and then hugging someone I’ve only just met. That’s been my life since I was 5 years old. In fact, my whole life, my mom has repeated the story of Rosemarie Bell, my first friend outside of our family. During the first few weeks of school, way back in 1973, while mom was waiting to pick me up at noon, in the glory days of morning and afternoon kindergarten, little Rosemarie walked up to my mom, pulled her coat, introduced herself, and said: “I really like your daughter, Chatone. She’s so nice. We talk a lot. She’s my best friend.” (Now we won’t go into how she knew it was my mom. Lets’s just suffice it to say I grew up in an area that was not diverse.)
The point is, I am the girl who turns around in line at Target to chat folks up. I run after people who have dropped a dollar. Inevitably, I find keys on a clearance cardigan table in Walmart, panic in advance for the person that left them, run through the store looking for a lady who looks somewhat frantic, and then reluctantly go to customer service, turn in the keys, and wait to see if she comes. (That sounds a little dramatic, but it’s a true story – more than once!)
As a Coach-Copywriter-Entrepreneur-Mary Kay business owner, I have met many clients just by being my authentic self, interested and kind. In the words of Kathleen Kelly, played by Meg Ryan in one of my all-time favorite movies, “You’ve Got Mail“, it’s rarely just business for me. It’s all personal. My gift and my passion is loving on people until they feel better. I listen. I see where things are broken and help find pieces that need picking up. I empower people (especially other women) to put the pieces back into place and adjust their crown. In fact, I have listened to more 10-year life histories during a 10-minute encounter while walking through a mall, that I cannot possibly recount them all. My kids laugh at me. No matter what, I can come home from the supermarket with more stories of strangers than groceries; ALL of them ending with me hugging someone I didn’t know before I left the house. I don’t want COVID to change the fabric of who I am. And for that, I am mushy.
Am I also a little over the top? Maybe. But I’ve met so many women who go home to sadness and depression and abuse and loneliness. If I meet her, I simply feel compelled to see if I am able to bring at least one good curve to her lips, one good moment. I don’t post it on Facebook or ‘do it for the gram’. And although I LOVE a feel-good story, which I already said, it’s not for anyone else. It’s a personal mission. I like making people feel happy. I don’t want anyone to feel alone. And I’m all in for the long haul from day one.
Which brings me back full circle to my mom. Because although I grew up with two loving (albeit a bit over-bearing) parents in my home, it was a strong black woman who raised me. She did day’s work with a smile. She was a keypunch operator and made it sound enjoyable. She worked when my dad’s business failed and he couldn’t find employment. She cooked natural meals before it was called organic, and no one knew what it was, and she did it on food stamps. She drove a long commute that she absolutely hated, to a job where she excelled, but never got promoted. She saved my life in first grade, in the middle of the night, when I became dehydrated and lost consciousness on the floor of my room. I know I can’t actually remember it, because I wasn’t conscious, but I feel like I can. I know she rode in the back of the ambulance and yelled all the way to Orange Memorial Hospital, while the EMT did mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. I know she was crying and blaming herself. But in reality, she found me. She saved me. Because she was the kind of mom that peeked her head in the rooms of her girls every night, just to check.
She is a ride or die chick, incredible in a crisis and always ready to give you a belly laugh and a sincere exclamation when something exciting happens. It’s also true that a gecko can’t come in the house without her screaming to her wit’s end, and she is afraid to fly, and fearful of heights, and mice, and bugs, and dark alleyways. But if someone is on the roof, ready to jump, hysterically crying or inconsolable – my mom’s ability to calmly talk the person back to life, with logic and love and loyalty, is simply astonishing. (True story.) When I was growing up, let someone be a misfit, unloved, unappreciated, uncared for, less fortunate, under educated, or even, dare I say, weird – my mom was all in. She is the original Die Hard With A Vengeance. And yes, I adored my father, and I think I just might have been the ‘apple of his eye’. But my strength comes from my mom. And every day that another friend loses a parent, or I attend another virtual funeral, I get mushier.
So yeah. This pandemic is making me soft. Not just because I don’t always feel like jumping on my Peloton and riding it out with my online coaches. Or because I eat a few too many Kirkland Pink Himalayan Salt potato chips. But because I’m absorbing so many tears from so many people. And I’m starting to realize that I may not have my mom forever the way I had planned. And I’m no different than any one of my friends who now feel like they are orphans. And no matter how many crowns I wear or titles I have or books I write or products I sell or people I serve and empower to feel confident; one day I will lose my mom and join the club of parentless adults. And right now, in this moment, it’s a reality that precipitated the longest blog I have ever dared to write in one sitting, in my fully-authentic, way-too-many-words, and way-too-many-thoughts voice, and post without editing.
And if you managed to read all the way down to this paragraph, thank you. I appreciate you. Share this with someone who will enjoy my sincere ramblings. In the meantime, I hope you remember to Focus Attention & Take Time with every person you love, even if they make you frustrated, and you don’t always understand them. Remember to make eye contact and say hello and smile at strangers, even if your face is covered by a mask. Do it because they need it, and because you just might need it too.
Princess of Positivity®, Chatone Morrison is the author of the book FATT & Happy, a self-coaching course and journal for women, and a Content Strategist & Confidence Coach for Women Entrepreneurs. She is the owner of Chatone Morrison Consulting and the founder of The Confident Content Cafe, specializing in content creation, confidence coaching, consulting and strategy for women-owned small businesses. She is a highly creative, high energy, heart-led, coach, consultant, mentor, leader, speaker and author, and she is absolutely passionate about helping her clients to script their unique stories, know their niche and find their voice, systematize their message and move past the negativity so they can confidently sell their services on and off-line. She also has a Mary Kay business and loves to share both the products and the business opportunity with women who are ready to shine. She believes that you can absolutely release negativity so positivity can reign in your brain, in your business and in your big beautiful life. To apply for a strategy session with Chatone, go to bit.ly/contentkickstartcall or visit chatonemorrison.com.
If you were a caped crusader what color would you wear?Without a second thought my cape would be hot pink. But if that cape was in the cleaners, and I had to run and save a damsel in distress, I would choose the yellow one.My secret power would be Positivity and I’d write my way through sticky situations.Not unlike TheRiddler, just without the jokes.
Seriously though, earlier this week when Iwalked across the sand to have my photos taken in this bathing suit, I felt more confident and comfortable in my skin than I’ve ever felt. I was able to leap over second glances of lowered dark sunglasses and confused looks in a single bound.I laughed out loud and let the wind carry my hearty giggles into the sea.I flew like a real life superhero.
Like so many of my less than confident sisters, I struggled with the beach for a long time. I loved the sound of the surf and waves. The afterglow of the sun’s kiss was beyond compare.But I lived in the typical world of body hatred and I didn’t want to go.
Like so many of my less than confident sisters, I went anyway and suffered on the inside. I pretended it was fine, even though it was anything but fine. I was all smiles and laughter and simultaneously silently wanting it to be over.
Like so many of my less than confident sisters I was losing time.Have you lost time like this too?
This is not an after picture. It’s not a story about losing weight and finding myself. It’s not even about learning to ignore the flaws and step out as a (BBW) big, beautiful, woman. Nope. It’s simply my story of letting go.
If and when you finally let go of all the negativity and self doubt and overly critical thoughts and the wondering if you are good enough, you get to fly like Supergirl. You realize that the sun will still rise and set despite your cleavageless chest or your thick thighs with no gap.The tide will come in and go out even if you don’t allow yourself the freedom to tease the shoreline with your bare feet. You understand that even if every single person on the beach takes a second look at the lines on your belly and indignantly wags their head at the size of your arms, they will probably forget by tomorrow. And if they don’t, that’s their problem.They should try getting a life.
BeingYouIsTheNewBlack. It always matches. It always fits.It’s a classic that never goes out of style.
Time is not for wasting.And neither are you.Allow the bigness of your spirit to leave the deepest impact.
Allow yourself to…
🗝 Be Authentic.
🗝 Be Brilliant.
🗝 Be The Catalyst.
(Photos of shoot Chatone by Daria Wright, Emmy award winning celebrity stylist and photographer.) Contact: Glamologistpro
Chatone Morrison. Certified Life & Health Coach. Gifted Writer Creating Print & Video Content that Raises Confidence, Positivity, & Energy in Corporate Women and Business Owners. Self-Talk Shifter. Motivation Elevator. Catalyst.
Specializing in content creation for women-owned small businesses, Chatone Morrison is the Princess of Positivity® a highly creative, high energy, heart-led, coach, consultant, mentor, leader and excellence enthusiast. Chatone is absolutely passionate about helping her clients to script their unique brand story, systematize their message so they can confidently sell their services on and off line.
Whatever you have going on today just remember that it probably doesn’t look as hard as it really is. Yeah…I said that. Because it’s true. We often hear the opposite as a motivator. But in reality much of what we face and have to get done as business owners, moms, wives, mentors, coaches, (and the list goes on) ain’t at all easy!!YOU make it look easy. You are there subtly applying the gifts you have to the cause without even thinking about it and because of YOU it’s totally different.
As you start your day remember this:No one knows your exact struggle so it might be a good idea to stop expecting folks to get “it”. The real question isn’t about them anyway. Do YOU get it?Instead of looking for others to acknowledge what you are doing and have done, create a best relationship with yourself. Every working woman could use a wife…so become your own MRS. – Motivational Reward System.
Balloons just make me happy… 🎈🎈🎈
The WHY is simple. What you do deserves noticing. What you slay should be celebrated. At the very least someone should be saying “Thanks, let me cover a latté for you”. Something…
Think about this:
1. How often do you relegate your challenges to simply: “it is what it is”, and then keep it moving?
2. What is one thing you could give yourself TODAY that would make a difference?
3. How will you feel after you enjoy that activity?
4. Why haven’t you started yet!?
You may not have every answer you need at every single moment. But when you make a decision to reward yourself in even the smallest of ways you begin to create a balance for all that you are making happen – because you and I both know you are a BOSS!
As a small biz owner, are you reluctant to tell your brand story on livestream?Are you gripped with uncertainty at the suggestion of using IGTV, YouTube or creating edited video?Do you get sweaty palmed when you think about scripting daily social media posts, your next blog, or your “about me” page or bio?No need. Helping you lose the negativity while finding your voice and letting your positivity reign, is what I do best. Get on my calendar for a free 20-minute catalyst session. Together we can do this.
It’s pure and simple like grade school math. The old fashioned kind. Before common core and base 10. Just the basic method of rote memorization. Flash cards and carrying the one. For every yes there is a corresponding no. Period. Point. Blank. We keep thinking that there must be a way around it, but there is none to be found.
As a mompreneur with two businesses this formula sometimes gets in the way. I get caught in the yes and yes syndrome. Or the no, but syndrome. Both end super moms and super wives in a cliff hanger of, “how in the world I am going to do all of that?”
Especially when one of my kids is involved, all bets are off. I don’t know about you, but I think we have a way of making the impossible suddenly feel possible. We do what we otherwise cannot do. It’s yes and yes all the way. That is until we can’t. When we have to realize that one strong defiant yes does not always have to be married to another strong defiant yes. More often that not, our strong yes must establish a courtship with a loving No, thank you.
For the last 3 months, my life has been a series of yes and yes. Nothing too difficult that I couldn’t handle it, right? Sure thing. That is until I found myself sleeping in the park 4 miles from home because I was too tired to get there safely. And then again a few weeks later, when I had to take a 20 minute nap, (relaxation music, essential oils and all) in the radiology parking lot across town. Uh-oh…something is out of balance.
Almost 30 years ago, during a routine exam one of my doctors saw what they now know to be the sprinkles of CFS. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I didn’t have it, but I had the “factor”, whatever that meant. I went on the hunt and became embroiled in natural practitioners and healthy eating. Before long, positive thinking, affirmations and gratitude edged its way into my life and finally coaching and eventually leaving my day job to pursue more balance. It was a long process, but now after 6 years, launching my confidence and positivity coaching business coupled with Mary Kay, things make more sense. I know what I’m doing. Sure thing. That is until I get over tired and keep pushing.
But what about kids? That is a yes and yes proposition always, right? Nope. In order to be our best to our everyone; hubbies, kids, career, etc. we have to allow yes to get into a relationship with no – date, get engaged, and eventually marry. It is only once we embrace the truth that saying yes to any single thing is saying no to something else, that balance even comes into view.
Take last night as an example. Darling daughter had her third doctor appointment in 2 days and it just so happened to be in the middle of the height of traffic and over an hour away. Hubby would be at worship with my son so that meant I would go and hold down the fort. Pull my weight. Do my share. In the words of Nike, “Just Do It”. Except in reality it wasn’t in me. The sprinkle was becoming a wave last evening and I needed to slow down to a drastic halt and let the yes of her appointment become the exclusive one and only lover of the no to my driving. I didn’t see it, but dear husband did. Because I’m a high creative, and I live in gratitude, I wrote this while I rode last night.
Tonight I watched a sunset while riding and felt sheer bliss. The rush hour traffic was slow-going and thick. We had an appointment that could not be missed. Stress had lifted a heavy hand as if it would never withdraw. But as I sat in the back seat all I felt was peace.
Earlier in the day my soul love partner offered to cancel his plans and drive us. My immediate response was no. His day had been equally challenging and as a wife I like doing my share. And I can handle it. Tonight though would have been too much. He knew before I did that saying yes and no must coexist. They are the exact same value on a bill that needs to be paid on time. Everytime.
Tonight I was reminded that being a ‘super mom’ and ‘super wife’ has limits.
Positivity is not a substitute for waning power.
Confidence does not trump Self-Care.
Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is sit behind the driver and watch the sun fall.
So there it is. Yes and No in a beautiful relationship that each confident woman needs to embrace if she will slay the servant, wifey and career/momtrepreneur game. I’m not yet asking you to run out and ask for loads of help. That might be too jarring. That kind of levelheadedness takes time! But if it’s been far too long since you allowed yourself to receive a hand up, it’s time. Just say Yes…and No.
Are you a make it happen woman in public, who is hiding behind a facade of confidence? Could you benefit from support around your mindset, body image, motivation and self-talk in private? Are you ready to ease your way into releasing your negativity so your positivity can reign? I’d love to help you up level your game.
Complete the questionnaire to apply for a free 20-minute strategy session with me. http://bit.ly/Ready-now
Does this family look like yours? One of the things I absolutely love about elephants is that they stick together. They care for their young. The protect and don’t mess around when predators try to infiltrate. Sounds like you? It definitely sounds like me.
Wondering how you can get close and stay close to your kids despite the difficulties of social media, negativity, peer pressure and way too little time with them? Want to get less toxic? Is it time for you to rediscover why you procreated and get back to basics?
It’s time for Family Dialysis. This series started here on my blog but has now moved to The Confidence Catalyst Academy. Each month or so there is a new video with tips and tricks for the family along with fun ideas for connection. Subscribe to my youtube channel Chatone Morrison YouTube to be notified of any video posted to my site and for a preview of Family Dialysis.
If you are looking for more for your family try checking this out. It’s bigger than a breadbox but smaller than an elephant – just the right size for your tribe!
For more information, contact: firstname.lastname@example.org.
Are you a make it happen woman in public, who sometimes hides behind a facade of confidence? Could you benefit from support around your mindset, body image, motivation and self-talk in private? Are you ready to ease your way into releasing your negativity so your positivity can reign? I’d love to help you up level your game.
Complete the questionnaire to apply for a free 20-minute strategy session with me. http://bit.ly/Ready-now
It used to be that you had to have some gray hairs on you before you felt this “rock and a hard place” feeling. But just in case you didn’t know, this is how our typical middle schoolers are living each day. Our young 11-13 year olds are leaving the house feeling pretty “fresh” and then somewhere between math and recess and the bus loop they look like they are hanging on by a thread. This is in the best and worst of neighborhoods. It has less to do with family income, status or zip code than it ever did, even though that seems to matter more than ever. In reality it has to do with what we as moms and dads do to debrief, cleanse and reboot with our tribe everyday.
Photo by Joseph Gonzalez on Unsplash
Early in 2017 I started a Periscope® broadcast called “The Friday Night Family Scope”. My mission was to bring families closer together in a positive way. For many of us the weekends need to be a time of family dialysis. We need to get inside the blood of our kids and remove the toxins. If we don’t go into the shadows and knock on their doors, ask the right questions and find out what they are focused on, we can’t provide help.
But if your kids are anything like mine, you know that you can’t wait for Friday to make this happen.How can we motivate and energize our kids more frequently?How can we get inside their lives and stay in there, especially if they are moving into young adulthood?Can a few minutes a couple of nights a week make a difference?Yes! We are more than chauffeurs, ATMs and short order cooks. We do more than feed and clothe. We do even more than teach and keep them safe. In just a few minutes devoted parents can do pivotal things. We help our children thrive in a scary world. And we gotta jump in and do a little very day.
2 Quick & Easy Tips:
Listen More Than You Lecture. If you are guilty of this, raise your hand. Come on! Raise it up right at your desk or in your kitchen or at the gym. I know you are out there. Join us. My hand is raised too! One is markedly easy. The other is definitely hard. But if you can get a tween or teen to talk to you, even if what they are saying is making you want to scream at the top of your lungs, try to listen. Yes, sometimes the story seems like a web that is wrapped upon itself and you want to jump in and untangle it. I know…I’ve been there…in fact, I visited that familiar destination earlier today. In the midst though, it hit me that I needed to assign dignity to this young adult that is so much like…well, me! And a lecture wasn’t going to cut it. What about you? Can you use your ears first this week?
Let Acknowledgement Be Your First Words. I keep thinking that after I speak I love to know that someone was actually listening to me. The same is true for our kids; listening is only half the battle. The other half is letting them know that we heard them. Extract something to show that you acknowledge they have been willing to share. “I know what you mean”, doesn’t carry as much weight as “Man, that sounds awful! I’m sorry that you had to face that.” (Or whatever similar matches your tribe). It’s not easy for our kids to open up. If they do, don’t waste the opportunity. Acknowledge them, their feelings and what they have to say. It’s worth it.
Photo by Max Conrad on Unsplash
So many of our precious kids are at pressure’s edge. The waves keep coming and they are aren’t dressed for swimming. If we are going to make a difference we are going to have to dive in deep.
The goal of Family Dialysis is to chat about ways to get closer as a family and ensure that parents are the major influencers to a positive future. Let me know what you’d like to see. I’m excited to share with you!
Ready to get your positive energy in check? Looking to clean up your self-talk, create a personal affirmation plan or ease your way into releasing your negativity so your positivity can reign? Complete the questionnaire for a free coaching strategy session.
At this rate, it might be better to just buy the books!
Raise your hand if you have children. If your kids are 20 and above, you are off the hook. Put your hand down, kneel and give thanks. If your kids are under the age of 16, keep them raised. If they like to read raise both hands. If you have managed to get the books they like to read from the library instead of the bookstore, keep one hand raised, and pat your back with the other hand. You are an awesome parent! Bravo! You can sit down.
Feeling pretty good aren’t you? You understand the value of borrowing instead of buying! You are green! You are saving the planet! Unfortunately you are also broke, one step away from losing your home because of the fines. One mom told me she recently paid $85 for one overdue book. Why didn’t she just buy the book? She did. She paid for a replacement, but then the book filed for lost wages in court and won. Seems that since no one could read it for 6 months, damages needed to be paid!
Your last fine cost WHAT?!
Imagine my dismay when my dear hubby sent a text to me stating that our latest bill was $41! I could have sworn I put all those books in a slot someplace. All the libraries in the county advertise: “Any branch will do. Drop your books at any library convenient for you.” Well I did that! How am I supposed to know where all the county lines are?
It once seemed like such a great idea to use the local public library, but now with all the fines, and the looming threat of bankruptcy and all, what’s a positive mom to do? Encourage video game playing and TV watching and Snapchatting®? Search for debt consolidation infomercials? Find the best credit counselor in the land? Pack the family up, and move back home with your parents? Nope on all counts.
All you have to do is join the club. We are a very supportive group and membership is free; we know you already spent your last dime on fines.
Take The Oath
I promise to borrow only enough books that can be read in the super short, ridiculously, annoying time that is allowed by the library.
I promise to put all the books in the same place each and every evening.
I promise to never have my children read their favorite book while in the tub.
I promise to never allow my children to drink a delicious, pumpkin spice latte with extra foam and cinnamon, caramel drizzle while reading a mystery…(oh no wait…that one is for me).
I promise to never avoid returning the 7 books we have because of the 1 book we cannot find.
I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth when the librarian asks me the whereabouts of any said overdue book: “No ma’am. I’m sorry ma’am. I have no idea, ma’am.”
I promise to put each finished book in the trunk of the car so I can drop it in the drive thru slot.
I promise to place only books that are on time in the drive through slot.
I promise to remember that there is a drive thru slot. And lastly . . .
I promise before all internet onlookers, librarians and random book-shelvers alike, to bring my credit card, loan papers and the kids drained college fund to the library to pay for the outstanding fines.
Stop trying to remember! Write it down!
Jokes aside, having a family calendar helps when everyone needs to be on the same page. You can choose a physical paper or whiteboard option placed in a conspicuous place for all to see. Or you can create a shared cloud option and place all common due dates, appointments with progressive alerts.
Being a parent of voracious readers is a blessing. It helps our kids do better in school, have an increased thirst for knowledge and have incredible vocabularies. And even if those vocabularies are so often pulled out and used against us, it’s wonderful to know they will be smart enough to find a great job and take care of us when we lose the house in exchange for all the fines!
No…I don’t do stand up! I’m actually a life and confidence coach for women. I love helping them to release negativity so their positivity can reign. Ready to get your positive energy in check? Looking to clean up your self-talk, create a personal affirmation plan or ease your way into releasing your negativity? Complete the questionnaire for a free coaching strategy session.
Today was a near perfect day in Maryland. The sun has been high and glistening, adding a slight warmth to the skin but not a burn, the occasional wind has rustled the trees in the yard, even the bumblebees hummed a bit louder it seemed. Well, maybe just to me.
Yes! I am that girl. The year begins and ends for me on the first day of Summer. I always wished my name was Summer. There was that one girl I knew growing up and…oops, already digressing away from my point. THE FIRST DAY OF SUMMER! #FDOS
I can remember staying outside so late and waiting for the sun to finally go down. It was precious as the pink and amber head of glory slipped behind the range of Orange mountains near my family home in New Jersey. Shoes were optional, double dutch and hopscotch were desirable and ice-cream from the neighborhood truck “Eskie’s” was mandatory.
So tonight I grabbed a handful of my best memories to sprinkle on my kids and we rode up the highway, windows down, breezes flowing in, talking and laughing. As we headed east through the county, the weather threatened disagreement with my plan, and the raindrops began to fall light and steady in nearly transparent sheets, like the beads we hung from our doors to separate us from the outside world and create a false sense of privacy. The sky behind us was brilliant, gorgeous, shiny and bright. And I tossed the memory of riding on Route 280 in West Orange, 32 years ago in my red 1978 Ford Pinto, so low to the ground I felt like I need to use my heels to break, like Fred Flintstone. On that “First Day of Summer”, the sky behind my head was so utterly gorgeous that it nearly devastated me. Literally! I kept turning around to peek at it. I was so afraid that I would miss out on its beauty – like it might never happen again. I stared hard over my right shoulder until I lost my focus and had to drive the rest of the way home with those huge spots blurring my vision.
Today with the sun and rain coming at the same time, I have the wisdom that keeping my eyes on the road, my heart and mind in the present, and my memories in the past, but close enough to fondle, is the best plan of action. So I kept my eyes straight ahead and bounced my childhood onto my kids in the back seat. They laughed. Asked questions. Were genuinely interested, or at least acted like it.
Just as the rain stopped, and the sun was beginning to stream through the dark clouds, I reminded them about the wonderful Rainbow promise that God made, and told them to look for the rainbow. Like clockwork, it appeared (pictured above) We clapped and snapped and a new #FDOS memory was made.
Special moments surround us every single day. Many of our great days and best memories are behind us. The tendency to constantly peep over our shoulders to look for them is strong. But don’t miss the rainbow looking for the sunshine at your back. Allow the best parts of your past experiences to warm you, and keep looking forward for the miracles that are waiting.
Happy First Day of Summer!
Chatone Morrison Certified Professional Coach ChatoneMorrison.com
Ready to get your positive energy back in check? Looking to clean up your self-talk, create a personal affirmation plan or ease your way into releasing your negativity so your positivity can reign? Complete the questionnaire for a free coaching strategy session.
What is UP for you? For me UP is Unapologetic and Positive. Does it seem like you have fallen and can’t get UP?
Is the house too loud? Does the cellphone never stop ringing? Is your work cafeteria lady against you, only giving you the heel of the bread? Then after you get the butts of the bread, are there no empty tables for you? Perhaps you are married. You have three children. But are there also 8 neighbors, 5 sisters, 4 parents, two cats, 1 dog, and about 67 people at work, that all need you? Seems like you are surrounded; like “come out with you hands up, and we won’t shoot”, surrounded. Your answer is yes…always yes. And you wake feeling burnt out and tired more often than ever before. You would love to have just a little quiet. But it seems to come less and less frequently. Yikes!!!
How does a woman today navigate all the required highways still stay relatively sane and in her positive right mind? Who reprogrammed the GPS so that it started driving you down instead of UP?
The simple answer my friend…you did! You did it in the name of progress. Of love. Of caring. Of doing. And now you are stuck in a negative rut. But not to worry, I just might have a teeny tiny plan that you can implement today. As in right now. Right this very minute. Why be stuck in the name of progress?
Our activities and choices used to be like painting a wall. You would look at paint chips, take them home, put them on the wall to try them out, then pick the one that was best suited for your room. You threw out the rest because they didn’t fit. You might have liked them but you made a best choice decision. Now it seems that the way to “paint a life” is to throw various paints from a distance on a small wall, during a drive by, and then get surprised and dismayed when a masterpiece doesn’t appear.
It doesn’t work. Women can’t do it all and feel 100% happy. We can’t outsource it all and feel 100% connected. We all want to feel positive and determined about the decisions we are currently making and living, yet we continue to fall, get stuck and can’t get UP!
But I’m not stuck! I’m haven’t been in a rut since I had that bob cut with bangs! Not me! I’m great!
Is that the best way to handle this? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about positive thinking. But if it’s based on nothing but a list of lose ideas grabbed from someone else’s playbook – it won’t work!
How to Know If You Have “Fallen and Can’t Get UP?
No matter what your social media pictures and posts say, it’s time to face the truth. Let’s get you crawling, walking and finally running, all int he next few weeks! Ready. Get Set. Go!
Do you feel an overall loss of energy or enthusiasm about work or home life? Especially things that you use to enjoy?
Do you often feel as if you are losing control when trying to get everything done?
Has negative thinking or self-demeaning thoughts become commonplace?
Are you demotivated to eat right, exercise, take care of basic necessities?
Which of these resonates with you? Even just one can indicate that you may be about to hit the floor.
Creating An Action Plan
Isolate and Identify The Problem. Where are the demands coming from? Is it work or home? Is it your spouse or your kids? Is it your weight or your health? (Notice that these are different!) Which weighs heaviest on your energy? Make a short list, no more than 3 items to start. More than that will cause great overwhelm. You can always come back and do this step again.
Seek Clarity & Seek Solutions. You have your list in hand and it’s time to get clear on what and how you want to change. Working with a coach at this point is excellent because as a neutral 3rd party they are invested in your success, not in the specific way you get there. (For information about working with a coach, see my website: chatonemorrison.com) Not yet ready to work with a coach? Creating a vision board (poster board, pictures/words from magazines, glue stick are all you need) can help with steps 1 and 2 at the same time. Sometimes with so much crowding you need to allow a space for your mind to get clear and feel free. While moving to a deserted island by yourself with no one but a personal concierge to bring you Mai Tais all day and night, while you seek clarity, probably isn’t an option, I’d bet a 2-hour window to play “hide and seek” with yourself is quite doable. Never created one before? Hit me up in the comments below and I can give you some quick suggestions.
P.S: Make One “PDC” Each Day. Your quest for “Personal Space” and “Personal Slow-Down” will take time. So along the way it’s vital to have a daily “PDC”. Permission Driven Choices are an amazing way to start feeling whole again. It could be as small as getting the cup of coffee you want and taking 5 minutes to drink it while looking out the window. It could be leaving your office and sitting outside in your car and screaming away the stress…although make sure you don’t park too close to the building if you choose that one! Back in the day when I was still at my corporate job, one of my PDCs was to simply stop “holding it”. TMI…but true! The point is to do one thing each and every day, that was formerly off limits. Try it for a week. Get your Power Back!
Just Ask & Saying No. As soon as you read this, think about something you want. What would you love help with? If you assertiveness volume was turned all the way up, what could you say? Just Ask. Say No. Do it. No holding back. Not ready to tell your boss to take his last minute deadline and throw it where the sun don’t shine? (I would not recommend; neither the most positive nor motivating thing to do!) But could you ask for an extension? Being asked again to be the only chaperone for the class trip, to make the cupcakes or be the pot luck coordinator for the next family get together, and also by the way, have it at your house?! Wrap your tongue around Saying No! I guarantee if said with a twinkle in your eye and just the right amount of lift in your voice, 9 times out of 10, your assertiveness will be met with respect. The best part is you get to feel better… Quick!
The earth spins and so do our worlds. Just like we cannot jump off the Earth, we also cannot slow everything down to suit our needs. But you can start to reset your GPS to take short cuts and avoid traffic patterns that are roadblocks to your destination – POSITIVITY!