Introduce Your “Yes” And Your “No” To Each Other – They Make A Perfect Couple


It’s pure and simple like grade school math. The old fashioned kind. Before common core and base 10. Just the basic method of rote memorization.  Flash cards and carrying the one. For every yes there is a corresponding no. Period. Point. Blank. We keep thinking that there must be a way around it, but there is none to be found. 

As a mompreneur with two businesses this formula sometimes gets in the way.  I get caught in the yes and yes syndrome. Or the no, but syndrome.  Both end super moms and super wives in a cliff hanger of, “how in the world I am going to do all of that?”

Especially when one of my kids is involved, all bets are off.  I don’t know about you, but I think we have a way of making the  impossible suddenly feel possible.  We do what we otherwise cannot do.  It’s yes and yes all the way.  That is until we can’t.  When we have to realize that one strong defiant yes does not always have to be married to another strong defiant yes.  More often that not, our strong yes must establish a courtship with a loving No, thank you.

For the last 3 months, my life has been a series of yes and yes.  Nothing too difficult that I couldn’t handle it, right?  Sure thing.  That is until I found myself sleeping in the park 4 miles from home because I was too tired to get there safely.  And then again a few weeks later, when I had to take a 20 minute nap, (relaxation music, essential oils and all) in the radiology parking lot across town.  Uh-oh…something is out of balance.

Almost 30 years ago, during a routine exam one of my doctors saw what they now know to be the sprinkles of CFS.  Chronic Fatigue Syndrome.  I didn’t have it, but I had the “factor”, whatever that meant.  I went on the hunt and became embroiled in natural practitioners and healthy eating.  Before long, positive thinking, affirmations and gratitude edged its way into my life and finally coaching and eventually leaving my day job to pursue more balance.  It was a long process, but now after 6 years, launching my confidence and positivity coaching business coupled with Mary Kay, things make more sense.  I know what I’m doing.   Sure thing.  That is until I get over tired and keep pushing.

But what about  kids?  That is a yes and yes proposition always, right?  Nope. In order to be our best to our everyone; hubbies, kids, career, etc. we have to allow yes to get into a relationship with no – date, get engaged, and eventually marry.  It is only once we embrace the truth that saying yes to any single thing is saying no to something else, that balance even comes into view.IMG_2652

Take last night as an example.  Darling daughter had her third doctor appointment in 2 days and it just so happened to be in the middle of the height of traffic and over an hour away.  Hubby would be at worship with my son so that meant I would go and hold down the fort.  Pull my weight.  Do my share.  In the words of Nike, “Just Do It”.  Except in reality it wasn’t in me.  The sprinkle was becoming a wave last evening and I needed to slow down to a drastic halt and let the yes of her appointment become the exclusive one and only  lover of the no to my driving.  I didn’t see it, but dear husband did.  Because I’m a high creative, and I live in gratitude, I wrote this while I rode last night.

Tonight I watched a sunset while riding and felt sheer bliss. The rush hour traffic was slow-going and thick. We had an appointment that could not be missed. Stress had lifted a heavy hand as if it would never withdraw. But as I sat in the back seat all I felt was peace. 

Earlier in the day my soul love partner offered to cancel his plans and drive us. My immediate response was no.  His day had been equally challenging and as a wife I like doing my share. And I can handle it.  Tonight though would have been too much.  He knew before I did that saying yes and no must coexist.  They are the exact same value on a bill that needs to be paid on time.  Everytime. 

Tonight I was reminded that being a ‘super mom’ and ‘super wife’ has limits.

Positivity is not a substitute for waning power.  

Confidence does not trump Self-Care. 

Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is sit behind the driver and watch the sun fall.

So there it is.  Yes and No in a beautiful relationship that each confident woman needs to embrace if she will slay the servant, wifey and career/momtrepreneur game.  I’m not yet asking you to run out and ask for loads of help.  That might be too jarring.  That kind of levelheadedness takes time!  But if it’s been far too long since you allowed yourself to receive a hand up, it’s time.  Just say Yes…and No.



Are you a make it happen woman in public,  who is hiding behind a facade of confidence? Could you benefit from support around your mindset, body image, motivation and self-talk in private?  Are you ready to ease your way into releasing your negativity so your positivity can reign?  I’d love to help you up level your game.

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Will Work for Fines: When Library Books Bankrupt The Family



At this rate, it might be better to just buy the books!

Raise your hand if you have children.  If your kids are 20 and above, you are off the hook.  Put your hand down, kneel and give thanks.  If your kids are under the age of 16, keep them raised.  If they like to read raise both hands.  If you have managed to get the books they like to read from the library instead of the bookstore, keep one hand raised, and pat your back with the other hand.  You are an awesome parent! Bravo!  You can sit down.

mariana-vusiatytska-174679Feeling pretty good aren’t you?  You understand the value of borrowing instead of buying!  You are green!  You are saving the planet!  Unfortunately you are also broke, one step away from losing your home because of the fines.  One mom told me she recently paid $85 for one overdue book.  Why didn’t she just buy the book?  She did.  She paid for a replacement,  but then the book filed for lost wages in court and won.  Seems that since no one could read it for 6 months, damages needed to be paid!


Your last fine cost WHAT?!

Imagine my dismay when my dear hubby sent a text to me stating that our latest bill was $41!  I could have sworn I put all those books in a slot someplace.  All the libraries in the county advertise:  “Any branch will do.  Drop your books at any library convenient for you.”  Well I did that!  How am I supposed to know where all the county lines are?

It once seemed like such a great idea to use the local public library, but now with all the fines, and the looming threat of bankruptcy and all, what’s a positive mom to do?  Encourage video game playing and TV watching and Snapchatting®?  Search for debt consolidation infomercials?  Find the best credit counselor in the land?  Pack the family up, and move back home with your parents?  Nope on all counts.

All you have to do is join the club.  We are a very supportive group and membership is free; we know you already spent your last dime on fines.

Take The Oath

  1. I promise to borrow only enough books that can be read in the super short, ridiculously, annoying time that is allowed by the library.
  2. I promise to put all the books in the same place each and every evening.
  3. I promise to never have my children read their favorite book while in the tub.
  4. I promise to never allow my children to drink a delicious, pumpkin spice latte with extra foam and cinnamon, caramel drizzle while reading a mystery…(oh no wait…that one is for me).
  5. I promise to never avoid returning the 7 books we have because of the 1 book  we cannot find.
  6. I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth when the librarian asks me the whereabouts of any said overdue book:  “No ma’am.  I’m sorry ma’am.  I have no idea, ma’am.”
  7. I promise to put each finished book in the trunk of the car so I can drop it in the drive thru slot.
  8. I promise to place only books that are on time in the drive through slot.
  9. I promise to remember that there is a drive thru slot.  And lastly . . .
  10. I promise before all internet onlookers,  librarians and random book-shelvers alike, to bring my credit card, loan papers and the kids drained college fund to the library to pay for the outstanding fines.



Stop trying to remember!  Write it down!

Jokes aside, having a family calendar helps when everyone needs to be on the same page.  You can choose a physical paper or whiteboard option placed in a conspicuous place for all to see. Or you can create a shared cloud option and place all common due dates, appointments with progressive alerts.



Being a parent of voracious readers is a blessing.  It helps our kids do better in school, have an increased thirst for knowledge and have incredible vocabularies.  And even if those vocabularies are so often pulled out and used against us, it’s wonderful to know they will be smart enough to find a great job and take care of us when we lose the house in exchange for all the fines!

Chatone Morrison ©2017

No…I don’t do stand up!  I’m actually a life and confidence coach for women.  I love helping them to release negativity so their positivity can reign.  Ready to get your positive energy in check?  Looking to clean up your self-talk, create a personal affirmation plan or ease your way into releasing your negativity?  Complete the questionnaire for a free coaching strategy session.


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