Raise your hand if you have children. If your kids are 20 and above, you are off the hook. Put your hand down, kneel and give thanks. If your kids are under the age of 16, keep them raised. If they like to read raise both hands. If you have managed to get the books they like to read from the library instead of the bookstore, keep one hand raised, and pat your back with the other hand. You are an awesome parent! Bravo! You can sit down.
Feeling pretty good aren’t you? You understand the value of borrowing instead of buying! You are green! You are saving the planet! Unfortunately you are also broke, one step away from losing your home because of the fines. One mom told me she recently paid $85 for one overdue book. Why didn’t she just buy the book? She did. She paid for a replacement, but then the book filed for lost wages in court and won. Seems that since no one could read it for 6 months, damages needed to be paid!
Imagine my dismay when my dear hubby sent a text to me stating that our latest bill was $41! I could have sworn I put all those books in a slot someplace. All the libraries in the county advertise: “Any branch will do. Drop your books at any library convenient for you.” Well I did that! How am I supposed to know where all the county lines are?
It once seemed like such a great idea to use the local public library, but now with all the fines, and the looming threat of bankruptcy and all, what’s a positive mom to do? Encourage video game playing and TV watching and Snapchatting®? Search for debt consolidation infomercials? Find the best credit counselor in the land? Pack the family up, and move back home with your parents? Nope on all counts.
All you have to do is join the club. We are a very supportive group and membership is free; we know you already spent your last dime on fines.
Take The Oath
- I promise to borrow only enough books that can be read in the super short, ridiculously, annoying time that is allowed by the library.
- I promise to put all the books in the same place each and every evening.
- I promise to never have my children read their favorite book while in the tub.
- I promise to never allow my children to drink a delicious, pumpkin spice latte with extra foam and cinnamon, caramel drizzle while reading a mystery…(oh no wait…that one is for me).
- I promise to never avoid returning the 7 books we have because of the 1 book we cannot find.
- I promise to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth when the librarian asks me the whereabouts of any said overdue book: “No ma’am. I’m sorry ma’am. I have no idea, ma’am.”
- I promise to put each finished book in the trunk of the car so I can drop it in the drive thru slot.
- I promise to place only books that are on time in the drive through slot.
- I promise to remember that there is a drive thru slot. And lastly . . .
- I promise before all internet onlookers, librarians and random book-shelvers alike, to bring my credit card, loan papers and the kids drained college fund to the library to pay for the outstanding fines.
Jokes aside, having a family calendar helps when everyone needs to be on the same page. You can choose a physical paper or whiteboard option placed in a conspicuous place for all to see. Or you can create a shared cloud option and place all common due dates, appointments with progressive alerts.
Being a parent of voracious readers is a blessing. It helps our kids do better in school, have an increased thirst for knowledge and have incredible vocabularies. And even if those vocabularies are so often pulled out and used against us, it’s wonderful to know they will be smart enough to find a great job and take care of us when we lose the house in exchange for all the fines!
Chatone Morrison ©2017
No…I don’t do stand up! I’m actually a life and confidence coach for women. I love helping them to release negativity so their positivity can reign. Ready to get your positive energy in check? Looking to clean up your self-talk, create a personal affirmation plan or ease your way into releasing your negativity? Complete the questionnaire for a free coaching strategy session.
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