What is UP for you? For me UP is Unapologetic and Positive. Does it seem like you have fallen and can’t get UP?
Is the house too loud? Does the cellphone never stop ringing? Is your work cafeteria lady against you, only giving you the heel of the bread? Then after you get the butts of the bread, are there no empty tables for you? Perhaps you are married. You have three children. But are there also 8 neighbors, 5 sisters, 4 parents, two cats, 1 dog, and about 67 people at work, that all need you? Seems like you are surrounded; like “come out with you hands up, and we won’t shoot”, surrounded. Your answer is yes…always yes. And you wake feeling burnt out and tired more often than ever before. You would love to have just a little quiet. But it seems to come less and less frequently. Yikes!!!
How does a woman today navigate all the required highways still stay relatively sane and in her positive right mind? Who reprogrammed the GPS so that it started driving you down instead of UP?
The simple answer my friend…you did! You did it in the name of progress. Of love. Of caring. Of doing. And now you are stuck in a negative rut. But not to worry, I just might have a teeny tiny plan that you can implement today. As in right now. Right this very minute. Why be stuck in the name of progress?
Our activities and choices used to be like painting a wall. You would look at paint chips, take them home, put them on the wall to try them out, then pick the one that was best suited for your room. You threw out the rest because they didn’t fit. You might have liked them but you made a best choice decision. Now it seems that the way to “paint a life” is to throw various paints from a distance on a small wall, during a drive by, and then get surprised and dismayed when a masterpiece doesn’t appear.
It doesn’t work. Women can’t do it all and feel 100% happy. We can’t outsource it all and feel 100% connected. We all want to feel positive and determined about the decisions we are currently making and living, yet we continue to fall, get stuck and can’t get UP!
But I’m not stuck! I’m haven’t been in a rut since I had that bob cut with bangs! Not me! I’m great!
Is that the best way to handle this? Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about positive thinking. But if it’s based on nothing but a list of lose ideas grabbed from someone else’s playbook – it won’t work!
How to Know If You Have “Fallen and Can’t Get UP?
No matter what your social media pictures and posts say, it’s time to face the truth. Let’s get you crawling, walking and finally running, all int he next few weeks! Ready. Get Set. Go!
- Do you feel an overall loss of energy or enthusiasm about work or home life? Especially things that you use to enjoy?
- Do you often feel as if you are losing control when trying to get everything done?
- Has negative thinking or self-demeaning thoughts become commonplace?
- Are you demotivated to eat right, exercise, take care of basic necessities?
Which of these resonates with you? Even just one can indicate that you may be about to hit the floor.
Creating An Action Plan
- Isolate and Identify The Problem. Where are the demands coming from? Is it work or home? Is it your spouse or your kids? Is it your weight or your health? (Notice that these are different!) Which weighs heaviest on your energy? Make a short list, no more than 3 items to start. More than that will cause great overwhelm. You can always come back and do this step again.
- Seek Clarity & Seek Solutions. You have your list in hand and it’s time to get clear on what and how you want to change. Working with a coach at this point is excellent because as a neutral 3rd party they are invested in your success, not in the specific way you get there. (For information about working with a coach, see my website: chatonemorrison.com) Not yet ready to work with a coach? Creating a vision board (poster board, pictures/words from magazines, glue stick are all you need) can help with steps 1 and 2 at the same time. Sometimes with so much crowding you need to allow a space for your mind to get clear and feel free. While moving to a deserted island by yourself with no one but a personal concierge to bring you Mai Tais all day and night, while you seek clarity, probably isn’t an option, I’d bet a 2-hour window to play “hide and seek” with yourself is quite doable. Never created one before? Hit me up in the comments below and I can give you some quick suggestions.
- P.S: Make One “PDC” Each Day. Your quest for “Personal Space” and “Personal Slow-Down” will take time. So along the way it’s vital to have a daily “PDC”. Permission Driven Choices are an amazing way to start feeling whole again. It could be as small as getting the cup of coffee you want and taking 5 minutes to drink it while looking out the window. It could be leaving your office and sitting outside in your car and screaming away the stress…although make sure you don’t park too close to the building if you choose that one! Back in the day when I was still at my corporate job, one of my PDCs was to simply stop “holding it”. TMI…but true! The point is to do one thing each and every day, that was formerly off limits. Try it for a week. Get your Power Back!
- Just Ask & Saying No. As soon as you read this, think about something you want. What would you love help with? If you assertiveness volume was turned all the way up, what could you say? Just Ask. Say No. Do it. No holding back. Not ready to tell your boss to take his last minute deadline and throw it where the sun don’t shine? (I would not recommend; neither the most positive nor motivating thing to do!) But could you ask for an extension? Being asked again to be the only chaperone for the class trip, to make the cupcakes or be the pot luck coordinator for the next family get together, and also by the way, have it at your house?! Wrap your tongue around Saying No! I guarantee if said with a twinkle in your eye and just the right amount of lift in your voice, 9 times out of 10, your assertiveness will be met with respect. The best part is you get to feel better… Quick!
The earth spins and so do our worlds. Just like we cannot jump off the Earth, we also cannot slow everything down to suit our needs. But you can start to reset your GPS to take short cuts and avoid traffic patterns that are roadblocks to your destination – POSITIVITY!
Chatone Morrison – 1/10/2017
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