by Chatone Morrison
Even if you haven’t recently suffered a great loss, the COVID-19 virus has left us all in a chronic state of collective grieving. I have been overwhelmed with Zoom memorial services. Saying goodbye has become harder than ever. We see each other crying on the screen, but hear nothing because we are muted. We receive (SOS) support on social. Virtual hearts and hugs are all we have, but they are not as powerful as the real thing. We are missing people without being able to say goodbye. The loss is no less real, and the sting is more intense.
When I take on the challenging assignment of creating an obituary or interviewing family members for a life story for a funeral service program or video, this is how I do it. In my writing workshops, I call this “Write & Release”, or “Write & Remember”. It’s a palate cleanser, or a palate prompter, depending on what is needed. When you lose someone you cherish, it’s a nice way to remember, so it’s just a little easier.
In this moment of mass and personal loss, over and over, there is a need to slow down, stop, and find gentle ways to hold onto the past, and still keep going forward, all without breaking, and finding the blessings along the way. It’s possible. Read on.
Here are my 7 Strategies for Grieving With Grace. And this is how I assist my grieving clients through the difficult charge of creating a life memorial or obituary.
This “Write & Remember” journey can be recorded in a journal or voiced and later transcribed. Try to do this soon after you lose someone precious to you. Of course, depending on the closeness of the relationship, you may need to allow some time to pass, and that is OK. This all about adding grace and ease and helping your memories to flow. So, even if you are able to do just one thing, it will make an impact.
- Memory List. Create a list of memories shared with your lost loved one. This memory list can be written in a journal or spoken and recorded.
- Photographs. Gather all the hard copy photos. Make copies as needed. Retrieve digital photos and social media postings. Save on an external drive or cloud source. Add favorites to the journal.
- Special Conversations. Try to recall the most special conversation shared with your lost loved one. Do not replay the worst one over and over; it’s easy to do that. Find the best one. Write it down as you remember it. Don’t interpret. Just write.
- Unique List. List down as many unique, funny, quirky, and memorable things you can about your special person. Start with 10-15, and keep going, adding as many as you can recall.
- Audio & Video. Save a copy of their voice or a video. If you don’t personally have one, you can screen record from their social media to your smart device. Their exact voice is a legacy worth remembering and sharing. Hint: If someone you know is elderly, chronically ill, or close to death, please get this recording as soon a possible.
- Nickname. Write down their pet name for you and your pet name for them. (This is not the time to dwell on the negative nicknames you might have accepted.) Think back to the ones that were personal and loving and just between you two. Yes, there may be a few silly and embarrassing ones. At times, you might rolled your eyes by what you answered to, but it’s a part of a life you shared. Remember it.
- Talk. Talk it out. Share your personal discoveries and your journey and grief. There is nothing worse than grieving alone. To grieve with grace and find the blessing in your loss, you have to do it together.
With these steps you can gain grace and ease your way into the grieving process with your memories and your mindset intact. What do you do now?
Keep your journal close. As friends and family share their memories, add to it. When you want to talk to the person you loved and lost, pull it out and read it. It will make a difference.
Chatone Morrison is the Princess of Positivity® . Content Strategist & Confidence Coach. Gifted Writer Creating Print & Video Content that Raises Confidence, Positivity, & Energy in Corporate Women and Business Owners. Self-Talk Shifter. Motivation Elevator. Catalyst.
Specializing in content creation, confidence coaching, consulting and delivery strategy for life and health coaches, Chatone is the owner of Chatone Morrison Consulting. As a highly creative, high energy, heart-led, coach, consultant, mentor, leader, speaker and author, Chatone is absolutely passionate about helping her clients to script their unique stories, know their niche and find their voice, and systematize their message. Chatone believes that you can release negativity so positivity can reign in your brain and in your business. To work with Chatone, go to bit.ly/contentkickstartcall or visit chatonemorrison.com