Tag Archives: grief

After Suffering a Great Loss: 7 Strategies for Grieving With Grace

Posted in family, grieving, how to write a journal, journaling, Story-Telling, Strategy, writing by

by Chatone Morrison

Even if you haven’t recently suffered a great loss, the COVID-19 virus has left us all in a chronic state of collective grieving. I have been overwhelmed with Zoom memorial services. Saying goodbye has become harder than ever. We see each other crying on the screen, but hear nothing because we are muted. We receive (SOS) support on social. Virtual hearts and hugs are all we have, but they are not as powerful as the real thing. We are missing people without being able to say goodbye. The loss is no less real, and the sting is more intense.

When I take on the challenging assignment of creating an obituary or interviewing family members for a life story for a funeral service program or video, this is how I do it. In my writing workshops, I call this “Write & Release”, or “Write & Remember”. It’s a palate cleanser, or a palate prompter, depending on what is needed. When you lose someone you cherish, it’s a nice way to remember, so it’s just a little easier.

In this moment of mass and personal loss, over and over, there is a need to slow down, stop, and find gentle ways to hold onto the past, and still keep going forward, all without breaking, and finding the blessings along the way. It’s possible. Read on.

Here are my 7 Strategies for Grieving With Grace. And this is how I assist my grieving clients through the difficult charge of creating a life memorial or obituary.

This “Write & Remember” journey can be recorded in a journal or voiced and later transcribed. Try to do this soon after you lose someone precious to you. Of course, depending on the closeness of the relationship, you may need to allow some time to pass, and that is OK. This all about adding grace and ease and helping your memories to flow. So, even if you are able to do just one thing, it will make an impact.

  1. Memory List. Create a list of memories shared with your lost loved one. This memory list can be written in a journal or spoken and recorded.
  2. Photographs. Gather all the hard copy photos. Make copies as needed. Retrieve digital photos and social media postings. Save on an external drive or cloud source. Add favorites to the journal.
  3. Special Conversations. Try to recall the most special conversation shared with your lost loved one. Do not replay the worst one over and over; it’s easy to do that. Find the best one. Write it down as you remember it. Don’t interpret. Just write.
  4. Unique List. List down as many unique, funny, quirky, and memorable things you can about your special person. Start with 10-15, and keep going, adding as many as you can recall.
  5. Audio & Video. Save a copy of their voice or a video. If you don’t personally have one, you can screen record from their social media to your smart device. Their exact voice is a legacy worth remembering and sharing. Hint: If someone you know is elderly, chronically ill, or close to death, please get this recording as soon a possible.
  6. Nickname. Write down their pet name for you and your pet name for them. (This is not the time to dwell on the negative nicknames you might have accepted.) Think back to the ones that were personal and loving and just between you two. Yes, there may be a few silly and embarrassing ones. At times, you might rolled your eyes by what you answered to, but it’s a part of a life you shared. Remember it.
  7. Talk. Talk it out. Share your personal discoveries and your journey and grief. There is nothing worse than grieving alone. To grieve with grace and find the blessing in your loss, you have to do it together.

With these steps you can gain grace and ease your way into the grieving process with your memories and your mindset intact. What do you do now?

Keep your journal close. As friends and family share their memories, add to it. When you want to talk to the person you loved and lost, pull it out and read it. It will make a difference.

Chatone Morrison is the Princess of Positivity® . Content Strategist & Confidence Coach. Gifted Writer Creating Print & Video Content that Raises Confidence, Positivity, & Energy in Corporate Women and Business Owners. Self-Talk Shifter. Motivation Elevator.  Catalyst.

Specializing in content creation, confidence coaching, consulting and delivery strategy for life and health coaches, Chatone is the owner of Chatone Morrison Consulting.  As a highly creative, high energy, heart-led, coach, consultant, mentor, leader, speaker and author, Chatone is absolutely passionate about helping her clients to script their unique stories, know their niche and find their voice, and systematize their message.  Chatone believes that you can release negativity so positivity can reign in your brain and in your business.  To work with Chatone, go to bit.ly/contentkickstartcall or visit chatonemorrison.com

The #1 Way To Remember Your Father

Posted in Children, family, Parents by

autumn autumn colours autumn leaves beautiful

Remember The Walks In Autumn

As October edges into double digit days I know the ramp up and slow down cycle is beginning. I can’t help but be reminded of a song I’ve loved for years.  I’m not ashamed to admit it. I love Barry Manilow’s voice and music, and the song, “When October Goes” in particular is my favorite.

IMG_1572

Remember To Keep His Ties For The Son You Might One Day Have

For most of my life I looked forward to this month.  The cooler weather. The trees changing color. A bunch of days off school. All of that. What could be better?   Well, everything.

In 1997 my dad passed on the 8th of October and everything changed.  It became a month to shoo away, crossing the days off the calendar as quickly as possible. Trying to sleep less so I wouldn’t dream of him. Missing him and remembering every sad moment surrounding his passing.  The diagnosis.  The surgery.  The hospital stay.  The nursing home.  Hospice.  Saying goodbye.

When October comes each year, why does that mean that I can’t sleep?  Why do I hear my father’s voice in my head almost every day in October, when I can barely bring it to mind at any other time?  How do you cope with the same loss every single year?  The cellular memories keep rising to the top of my cup and it overflows with my father.  I wish I didn’t have to drink but there is a longing and I simply cannot push myself away from the table.

What’s amazing is that finally this year, twenty-one years gone, little by little it’s changing.   Instead of just another chalk mark on the wall until I see my dad again, I’ve been reminded of our last great Thursday lunch date.  How he would lead me into the restaurant by gently touching the small of my back, and sit seemingly mesmerized while I regaled on about some latest escapade in the office. It’s conjuring up a joke or phrase he used to say or the way he called my name. It’s sharing stories with my kids of how strict he was and how now at 50 I’m so grateful for it. After this 21st anniversary of his death,  I realized this month that I just want to enjoy remembering him however I can.  And overnight, October is my favorite again.

My sweet 16 year old girl created these images for me.  She sent them to me in a text as if it were no big deal.  She never had the chance to meet my dad, and she knows nothing about my rocky relationship with the month of October.  Isn’t it funny how it can be quite natural to reach out and give exactly what someone else needs without them even knowing it?

Stories are the oldest and best part of our lives.  In every chapter there is joy and melancholy. Turmoil and peace.  Love, loss and letting go.  But it’s folding down the corners of joy that make it a best seller.

The way to remember your father is by daring to be passionate and purposeful and connected and confident in re-telling the stories.  It’s by not forgetting to remember.  It is the #1 way and there is nothing more powerful.

 

Facetune_25-10-2018-21-14-10

Certified Life & Health Coach. Gifted Writer Creating Print & Video Content that Raises Confidence, Positivity, & Energy in Corporate Women and Business Owners. Self-Talk Shifter. Motivation Elevator.  Catalyst.

Specializing in content creation for women-owned small businesses, Chatone Morrison is the Princess of Positivity® a highly creative, high energy, heart-led, coach, consultant, mentor, leader and excellence enthusiast. Chatone is absolutely passionate about helping her clients to script their unique brand story, systematize their message so they can confidently sell their services on and off line. 

 

To Connect With Chatone on Social Media:

https://linktr.ee/realprincessofpositivity