“Emotionally Stable” Photo by Jeremy Bishop on Unsplash
It used to be that you had to have some gray hairs on you before you felt this “rock and a hard place” feeling. But just in case you didn’t know, this is how our typical middle schoolers are living each day. Our young 11-13 year olds are leaving the house feeling pretty “fresh” and then somewhere between math and recess and the bus loop they look like they are hanging on by a thread. This is in the best and worst of neighborhoods. It has less to do with family income, status or zip code than it ever did, even though that seems to matter more than ever. In reality it has to do with what we as moms and dads do to debrief, cleanse and reboot with our tribe everyday.
- Photo by Joseph Gonzalez on Unsplash
Early in 2017 I started a Periscope® broadcast called “The Friday Night Family Scope”. My mission was to bring families closer together in a positive way. For many of us the weekends need to be a time of family dialysis. We need to get inside the blood of our kids and remove the toxins. If we don’t go into the shadows and knock on their doors, ask the right questions and find out what they are focused on, we can’t provide help.
But if your kids are anything like mine, you know that you can’t wait for Friday to make this happen. How can we motivate and energize our kids more frequently? How can we get inside their lives and stay in there, especially if they are moving into young adulthood? Can a few minutes a couple of nights a week make a difference? Yes! We are more than chauffeurs, ATMs and short order cooks. We do more than feed and clothe. We do even more than teach and keep them safe. In just a few minutes devoted parents can do pivotal things. We help our children thrive in a scary world. And we gotta jump in and do a little very day.
2 Quick & Easy Tips:
- Listen More Than You Lecture. If you are guilty of this, raise your hand. Come on! Raise it up right at your desk or in your kitchen or at the gym. I know you are out there. Join us. My hand is raised too! One is markedly easy. The other is definitely hard. But if you can get a tween or teen to talk to you, even if what they are saying is making you want to scream at the top of your lungs, try to listen. Yes, sometimes the story seems like a web that is wrapped upon itself and you want to jump in and untangle it. I know…I’ve been there…in fact, I visited that familiar destination earlier today. In the midst though, it hit me that I needed to assign dignity to this young adult that is so much like…well, me! And a lecture wasn’t going to cut it. What about you? Can you use your ears first this week?
- Let Acknowledgement Be Your First Words. I keep thinking that after I speak I love to know that someone was actually listening to me. The same is true for our kids; listening is only half the battle. The other half is letting them know that we heard them. Extract something to show that you acknowledge they have been willing to share. “I know what you mean”, doesn’t carry as much weight as “Man, that sounds awful! I’m sorry that you had to face that.” (Or whatever similar matches your tribe). It’s not easy for our kids to open up. If they do, don’t waste the opportunity. Acknowledge them, their feelings and what they have to say. It’s worth it.
Photo by Max Conrad on Unsplash
So many of our precious kids are at pressure’s edge. The waves keep coming and they are aren’t dressed for swimming. If we are going to make a difference we are going to have to dive in deep.
The goal of Family Dialysis is to chat about ways to get closer as a family and ensure that parents are the major influencers to a positive future. Let me know what you’d like to see. I’m excited to share with you!
Chatone Morrison ©2017
Ready to get your positive energy in check? Looking to clean up your self-talk, create a personal affirmation plan or ease your way into releasing your negativity so your positivity can reign? Complete the questionnaire for a free coaching strategy session.
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Coaching Website: ChatoneMorrison.com
All photos courtesy of Unsplash.com
Strange question indeed. But everyday we encounter people that need a hankie. The back of their hand. The crook of their arm. A napkin. A tissue. A turn of the head. Anything to assist them from coughing all over you. You know what I’m saying! You’ve been the victim probably in the last few hours of someone coughing in your direction, not turning their head, ignoring the sputum that is dropping everywhere!
If you are constantly bombarded with the negative drama of others, their sad stories, their woe-is-me existence, or their tales of victimization you will eventually catch the Common Cough. So take a break. It’s easy to see who these folks are in your life; when you see their name on your phone or email, a little sigh escapes your lips. That “sigh” is your sign! Give yourself permission to limit time with this individual. Sometimes you know how much you immunity can take, and other times you don’t know until you get home and you are coughing too! So instead of that, make a decision to honor your boundaries. You deserve to be in the best health possible. (In another blog or video I will jump into what happens when the cough resides in the house with you! Stayed Tuned!!)
Not exactly. If you want to have the most positive experience possible, there has to be a fair amount of “benefit of the doubt”. Everyone deserves that. In practical terms this means you might have infrequent but kind communications with this person. Especially in the workplace or in closer relationships. Would it really hurt to acknowledge this person, perhaps offering them a listening ear every now and again? Could you offer them a hankie? Perhaps having a good word for them? Even though it may not seem to make a dent, it will make a difference. If not for them, it will for you. If will create an ease based on putting someone else first, even just for a little while.
To help protect yourself from catching the cough, simply clean up! Don’t leave the negativity to fester in your mind. Replace it with positive recordings. Read books that build. Post affirmations in your surroundings. Use uplifting music to tune it out. Light a candle. Burn some incense. Spritz essential oils. Journal. All of these are like disinfectants for the mind. Protect yourself and prevent the spread of negative energy!
Princess of Positivity - Chatone Morrison 